


The Missing piece

by Squidsy24



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Aunts & Uncles, Crushes, Crying, Drag Queens, Everyone Is Gay, First Meetings, Friendship, Gay Pride, Gay Rights, Gen, Inspired by Music, Light Angst, Multi, Music, New York City, Non-Linear Narrative, Nonbinary Character, Post-Break Up, Pride, Soul-Searching, dead naming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29249640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidsy24/pseuds/Squidsy24
Summary: Winfred Scott's best friend and long time crush moves away with her boyfriend Brad. As they tries to get over the relationship, Freddy reflects on the past and they journey on how they found themselves.
Relationships: Original Female Character(s) & Original Non-Binary Character(s), Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character(s) & Original Non-Binary Character(s), Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	1. Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this was a school project hence the change in pace from my usual writing. I have been requestion to share this so here it is. (Also they/them pronouns for Freddy please <3)

April 6, 2020  
~~~  
Their left heel hadn’t touched the tile floor since they walked in the cafe. Something inside them wanted to be focused on more than anything else. An aching sensation of the final seemingly moments in the monumental friendship.   
She was dressed for comfort, with a pair of joggers and a simple hoodie; she was still beautiful. Not just in the way her messy of brown curls fell aimlessly, or the way she spoke when she was impassioned, but her everything.   
“Then next year we can meet in France or I could show you round Germany.” Jenn said excitedly whilst cradling her coffee. Her phone started ringing and it was the devil himself calling, Brad. “Hey Babe!” Freddy had seen Jenn happy before. They had plenty of memories where Jenn would be nearly on the ground from some meme that could have been made by a middle aged woman on facebook. This didn’t seem as sincere as then, not in the slightest. Her smile tightened on her lips as she answered whatever Brad was talking about, “Yeah I’m gonna be in the train station soon don't worry. I’m with Freddy. We’re getting coffee. Little place on 12th street.”   
Jenn stood up slowly and waved the waitress over to pay the tab. She quickly came over and questioned, “What can I get for you, Jenn?”  
“Check please, got a train to catch.”   
Oh no  
“In about 30 minutes.” She continued  
20 minutes until my best friend is off with Brad for who knows how long with this pandemic. 20 minutes until the person I love more than anything is gone. 20 minutes to say something ANYTHING to get them to stay. Can I even do it? Can I even really stop them?

They arrived with 10 minutes to spare Brad being late as usual. “Well I guess this is-” Freddie began  
“NO! Don’t say it. Cause if you say it i'll start crying again.”  
“Okay then see you later?”  
Jenn walked up to give a hug that didn’t feel like a simple ‘see you later’. She held on tight like her life depended on this moment, on them and them alone. To spite the slightly boa esque constriction on Freddy’s lungs then held on back.   
“I’ll text you when I land, promise” Jenn said in Freddy’s ear   
“Jenn, wa…”  
“JENNY! You’re here” Brad interrupted  
Brad   
The thunderous boom shook Freddy out of their faux smile and gentle wave. Their eyes maintained composure as they left, hoping that their feet could guide them home without issue.   
~~~ 

It was an odd sensation, tears mixing with rain. They didn’t know where either started or finished, not like they really cared. There were other things that needed more attention than simple tears. Things as heart wrenching as avoiding a panic attack or mental break down on the wet streets of New York City. Needing to cry but not having the strength to burden strangers or receive feelings of pity from individuals with their own lives. They focused on the music, a steady, grounding thump in their ears to avoid any potential outburst of further emotion. But then it stopped, in the midst of a lyric about lost love the name Garrett flashed with the photo of a man whose main facial feature was tired.   
With a sigh they answered, the voice on the other side more gentle then average, “So, how are you Winifred Scott.”   
Garrett used the full name. shoot.   
They took a deep breath to avoid any break in their voice, “I’m fine.”  
Garrett sighed,”You and I both know you aren’t. Now come on is this a fro-yo and memes moment, songs, movies or be left alone kinda deal? OR do you want me to come around and listen. I can do anything you need.”  
“I don’t know what I want Garrett.” They searched for their keys as they neared the apartment, trying to hold the phone between their ear and shoulder. “Besides don’t you have a date in like an hour?”  
They walked through the red door that was in desperate need of repair and followed the well traveled route up the stairs. “So, big surprise.”Garrett said, his voice a slight echo. When Freddy turned the corner on the stairs they saw Garrett with a container of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a vinyl of “Cigarettes After Sex”.  
Freddy did a half hearted glare at him, “You can’t just invite yourself over to my house.”  
“I feel it's my duty as your friend to infiltrate your life when I feel you need it.”  
They opened the door to the studio apartment, conformed to Freddy's style. Garrett invited himself in as they made their way to the watering can in the shape of a duck.There were numerous photos covering the walls along with band posters signed by no named millennials waiting for their big break. Tables that were well loved in the early 80’s-90’s now filled with tea stains new and old. The small flat was a minimalist's nightmare, and Freddy’s dream: it was a well lived apartment.  
Freddy tended to the numerous plants residing wherever they could fit, the other collected two bowls and two spoons. He placed them on the island that separated the kitchen from the living room, giving both bowls generous scoops.   
“So, Freddy, how are you actually.” he asked sternly whilst they sat on the couch, chucking their shoes off and resting back.   
“I don’t know. I mean she’s gone. Off in Germany which isn't seven hours away, it's seven TIME ZONES.”  
Garrett sat beside them and handed the larger bowl of ice cream. He rested his elbow up against the couch and listened.  
“And-and. I” Freddy broke off and looked down at their spon. “I never told her, and I just don’t know what to do.”  
“Hey, come here Freddie,” Garrett pushed both bowls aside and reached for one of his patent engulfing hugs. Garrett was the size of a beam pole, but his hugs were so genuine and fulfilling, anyone could easily sink into it. He spoke tenderly, like a big brother only he was younger then them by 4 months, “Don’t remember the ‘what ifs’ or the ‘maybes’. Remember the good times right? If you really loved Jenn, she won't leave that place in your heart. But it's up to you to decide if that part gets darkened, corrupted with doubt or grows with you, stays wherever life may take you.”  
Freddy stood up after they were released from Garrett’s grip and moved to the record player in the corner. They fiddled with the records on the shelf below taking the same amount of time deciding as a group of family does finding a movie on Netflix.   
Garrett grew tired of watching and connected to the bluetooth on the player, “Oh my God just put on some Girl In Red or something absurdly upbeat and get on with it.”  
“You literally brought a vinyl to play. I was just picking the song.”  
“No, it's the wrong vibe, misread the room. Umm here.” He moved the vinyl from their hands and started playing Vampire Weekend’s, ‘Jerusalem, New York, Berlin’. Freddy made a stark face. “I made a full queue on Spotify okay we will find something.”  
They never found the ‘something’ song mostly due to them both growing bored of the sadness, there would be time for that later. For now they enjoyed the simplicity of cheesy romantic comedies featuring actors and actresses too beautiful for their own good. Neither protested the change of scene, both knowing that this was only the start. The start of a long journey, with sights far less beautiful, but nonetheless vital, than the walk through middle earth or the wide universe.


	2. Jenn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett and Winfred are waiting in a coffee shop to meet their new roommate

May 30, 2017  
Garrett waved playfully at the waiter as he left to go get their drinks. Winifred rolled their eyes again, “Garrett you can’t keep flirting with every man on the block.”  
Sebastian gave a hearty laugh from beside them, his hand falling and hitting the graduation cap on the table as it fell back down. “Let him have his fun. Soon enough he will be on Tinder or Grindr and then he won’t just flirt with the men on the block.”   
Garrett stifled a chuckle, “Oh I HAVE Tinder.”  
“And Grindr” Freddy added  
“Why are you guys giving me that look.” Sebastian’s face grew red as his concern grew.  
Garrett pulled out his phone, “Seb, do you know the name ‘Und3r_the S3a’?” He turned the phone to Sebastian who looked mortified and quickly grabbed it.  
“We, oh my god we…”  
“Yes dear uncle you matched with my friend on Tinder” Fred said patting Sebastian’s back lightly.   
“And Grindr”   
The man placed the phone down and grabbed his jacket trying to leave the booth. Freddy handed him their cap and got out of the booth. Sebastian stood up and gathered himself, trying to give Winfred a 20 dollar bill. They pushed the bill back to him and before he could protest the waiter came back.  
“Here are your drinks.”   
“Thank you, Daniel.”  
The waiter scoffed. Daniel presented as he didn’t care, but his eyes kept wandering back to the table to meet Garrett’s.  
Sebastian gave Winifred a quick hug and left the cafe to go back to their flat. Sometime in June of 2016 the entryway of the apartment had 2 duffle bags, a backpack and a 17 year old who still went by Johnathan. The flat had changed as they began to live together: various plants finding homes in whatever small corners they could find, photographs of skylines and dishes on counter tops. It was a welcome change for the both of them.  
One of them being a young kid, recently kicked out of their house and was confused and mostly alone. The other older, far more established and related to them, in more ways than one. As time went one and Johnathan slowly found out who they were in relation to the world and themselves, they changed their first name and used Sebastian’s last name of Scott. The rest of their story is history.

“So when should this girl Jenn be around by?” Garrett asked, taking a second bite of his chocolate chip muffin.   
“She said 6:30 but it's 6:50 now so who knows.” Freddy fiddled with their phone, opening and closing twitter and instagram. Their foot bounced on the titles and their brown curls never found one place to lay due to constant hands ruffling them. Freddy assumed the worst that Jenn maybe got into a bad uber and was somewhere in a back alley now, or she got kidnapped on her walk. No matter what Winifred was concerned about it.   
In less than a minute a woman walked in. She was in a rush and her short afro bounced lightly as she searched for someone. Eventually they flagged down Daniel who pointed to their table. She rushed over, her messenger bag flying behind. “Hi, sorry i’m late.” She reached to shake both their hands and settled down beside Freddy.  
“So, you’re Jenn I assume?” Garrett said, crossing his arms. It always amazed Freddy how different he acted with new people. A firm wall was placed between him and them- unless he thought the man was cute- and the wall didn't come down until they ‘proved themselves worth’, his words.   
Winfred had a much different reaction to Jenn. Their heart pounded in their chest and words were barely able to form. They had a need to impress her, show her something of them. Freddy hadn’t ever felt something like this for someone, it scared and captivated them all at once.  
“Yeah that's me. Jenn Montgomery, your guy’s roommate.”


	3. Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winifred attempts to make a phone call and someone unexpected answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the dead naming comes in so please read with caution

July 18, 2020  
~~  
The orange hue coated the cityscape before them. Windows reflected each other and the warmth of the sun was turning into a shiver up Winifred’s spine. They sat on top of the roof of their home, the space seemingly made for them. Blankets piled around a small table that had random books people brought and took. It was shared with all the tenants in the building however few used it. Winifred was the one who truly made the roof picture esque, because they needed it for that very reason.   
The phone in Freddy’s hand shook lightly, their most recent texts needing tears swiped away from the screen. ‘Just call her Freddy. Love you, me and Daniel will come around tomorrow okay <3~ Garrett.’ They clicked off the screen and scrolled through their call logs for a minute before coming onto the name Mom. Underneath the name said, “Last call, 06/05/2020, 1:28:36”. Freddy drew in a deep breath and pressed the green button.  
Freddy spoke softly to prevent her voice from breaking, “Hey mom.”  
The voice on the other line struck fear in Winifred instantly, “Johnathan? Is that you boy?”  
They did their best to maintain composure over the realisation that this conversation would be less than ideal, “Dad,” they drew in a deep breath “Hello.”  
The man was audibly stunned,”Oh wait no you go by Fred now. Sorry son- kid. Sorry kid. How uh, how you been?”  
He seemed more defeated then his usual boisterous tone. Freddy nearly pitied him. Despite every bone telling them to leave and continue in the years of silence between them, they decided against it. They needed someone now, someone to just make them feel less alone. For whatever reason a choked sob found its way out when they responded, “Oh I’m, I’m fine.” trying to conceal the break failed.  
Their dad’s voice possessed a sense of concern, “You don’t seem very fine.”  
“How would you know?”  
“Your still my kid Fred, despite it all”  
“You weren’t much of a dad.”  
Freddy struck him with their words, and they knew it. They didn’t want the cheesy reconciliation, or the ‘I’m sorry’s. They didn’t know what they wanted.  
Maybe an outside perspective could work? Or just to talk about it. Every aspect of it. No filter, just a talk.  
They made sure their sigh was loud enough, still shocked that he hadn’t hung up on them, “It was a woman, this really wonderful woman and she's gone.”  
“At least it was a woman.” He mumbled just loud enough for them to hear.  
“Right I knew this was a mistake.” Freddy pulled the phone from their ear, their fingers nearing the red button,  
“Wait WAIT DON’t HANG UP.” Their Dad called  
“Why shouldn’t I?”  
“Just tell me about her.”  
“Like what?”  
“Anything you need to say.”  
Freddy looked up to the sky, holding the phone to their ear still. The stars somehow found a way to shine a little tonight. Saddest part of their move to New York was the loss of stars. Arkansas was filled with them, every night they would look out across them. No picture could do their beauty justice to spite Freddy's attempts.  
“She was kind, and caring. She couldn’t ever arrive on time, and had a weird thing with frogs. Every time she walked into a room my stomach did a backflip-and-and...”  
“Did you love her?”  
“I don’t know”  
“Did your chest tighten as she walked in the room? Did you value what she wanted? Did you listen to her every word? Mark down every smile, every laugh, every tear?”  
Freddy thought about it all. Their moments with Jenn compacted into a simple exchange and an overwhelming realisation. They fell faster now, no longer able to simply fall idly. They whipped their eyes on their sleeve and responded, “Yes”  
The gruff voice on the other side of the phone grunted, “Well?”  
“Well what?”  
“Are you going to tell them?”  
They sniffled, “She is in Germany with her boyfriend. They left four months ago.”  
“FOUR MONTHS?!”  
There it was, the great ineffable yelling.  
Of course.  
Their dad sighed and continued in a more calm manner, “Son. Remember when I was teaching you to ride a bike. And the first time you fell off and cut your knee you sat on the ground and you cried for 20 minutes. What did I tell you.”  
Freddy thought for a moment, “ ‘Get back up my boy because it's not going to hurt forever.’ Then you offered me your hand, brushed off the dirt and made me ride again and again.”   
“Do me a favor, look at your knee” he spoke matter of factly, like he just proved some big theory, or was a kid calling out an answer in class.  
They looked down at their knee where a small cut resided on their knee cap.  
“It healed right? And you know what you got out of it? You learned to ride a bike Fred.”  
There was an unplanned pause. Freddy would have sworn they heard a light sniffle on the other side of the phone, neither acknowledged it.  
“Okay dad.” Freddy said. Their sleeves became soaked. Their chest was tight. The lump in their throat refused to let up. “I uh, I got to go.”  
He spoke much softer than they had ever heard him, “Okay Fred, bye kid.”  
“Bye dad.”  
They both hung up. Freddy felt the weight of everything come all at once. It was heart wrenching. They felt wrung out. Everything from the past four months, all the repressed emotions and pain rose to the surface.Their hands needed something to do, something tangible and real. Freddy reached for their notebook and pen on the table. They opened the next page and started to write, in the hopes that soon they could translate the words left unsaid.


	4. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We go far back to Sebastian taking a young teenager to a or die they won't soon forget.

June 5th, 2013

Jonathan had never seen so much color in one place. The street was covered in color and people. He had been to New York City before when he was 6, but this was a new thing entirely. The people around him were holding hands with the same sex, and some of them you couldn’t tell what sex they were. The scene should have been overwhelming and made him want to leave, but it didn’t make him feel as such.   
He felt he belonged there.  
Among the rush of people was him and Uncle Sebastian. Seb told him what it was he would be going to, he expected it. What he didn’t expect was for it all to make him feel so welcomed. Jonathan knew he didn’t belong in his small town in Arkansas, he found that out through Tumblr. He always knew of the LGBTQ world, thanks to Uncle Sebastian and, as Johnathan’s dad called them, ‘close friends’. This was the first time he had ever really explored it, say it in all its glory. Fanfiction over characters on tv only did so much to feed his growing curiosity. Along with curiosity came a small fear, ‘am I gay?’. Johnathan knew it was a silly thing to be scared of, but with his father and his town, it had always been shown as something that was a problem.  
“No” He thought, walking down the street with Sebastian, “This isn't wrong, this is people. They're just living their life. Who am I to judge them? Some kid from Arkansas THATS who. A kid who has always been scared to live as freely as they are. I’ve kissed a girl, I liked it. So I can’t be gay. Although I have also seen Brendon Urie…like that too.”  
It was then someone helped him out of his thoughts with a tap on his shoulder. It was a drag queen who had expressive make-up and hair bigger than his head with a dress that was covered in sequins. She had a slight southern accent and it warmed Johnathan’s heart to hear it, “Hello honey, how’s your pride going.”   
Jonathan was stunted. Sebastian, noticing he lost his nephew for a moment, came to join the two of them. He recognized the queen, “Rachel is that you?”   
“Sebastian? I didn’t know you had a kid?” She asked as the group walked together with Johnathan in between them.   
“No, uh he belongs to Claire. I did not know you were still doing drag, I thought it was a young queens game?” Sebastian’s demeanor showed he was obviously flirting with Rachel.  
“Uh excuse me, Uncle Seb do I know this person?” Jonathan interjected  
“Well kid underneath all that makeup and beauty is Michael, my boyfriend from a couple years ago. He is a drag queen, A detail I neglected to mention cause, well your dad. Basically when Rachel is dressed up like this it means She is a woman. When she eventually takes it all off he goes back to being Michael.” Sebastian went back into flirt mode quickly after, his skills at doing so were unmatched, “So are you still working at the place on 17th street then?”   
Rachel laughed to themselves, “Yeah, do you guys want to come see? I could do my magic on you guys and get you out of those rags Sebastian.”  
17th street was about 3 blocks away from them. The parade itself wasn’t one of much importance to Johnathan, but the idea of becoming a drag queen, well it brought up something new entirely. “Do I want to? Dress like a girl? Just because I can? I mean how bad could it be? It's just a costume I wear those on Halloween. It's not a big thing.”

Before much more could be debated, Rachel already had him at a vanity mirror and was laying down foundation. Sebastian had left for work and put Johnathan in the care of Rachel. It was a big ordeal, she talked enough for the both of them.  
“So you got a drag name yet hun?” She asked  
“Uhh I haven’t really thought about it I guess.” he responded  
“Well every queen needs a name.”  
“I'm not really a queen though. I don’t even know if I’m queer.”  
“That comes with age, worry about that later. But for now we need a name for you.”  
“I don’t know. Elizabeth?”  
Rachel thought for a moment, “No too, royalty esque.”  
Jonathan groaned slightly, “Aren’t I literally supposed to be a queen?”  
“Yes, and Queen Lizzy is taken. Besides I’m going for a more fairy look. So think fairy tales.”  
“Anastacia? Penny? Rose? Winifred? Guinevere? Clar-”  
“YES!” Rachel exclaimed  
“To which one?” He questioned  
“Winifred. It's totally you. Also you could shorten it and it's about 6 names in one. Okay let me go get you a wig babe.” She then left him.   
He twittled with his thumbs, “I don’t hate it” he thought to himself, “Make up is quite a lot, but all in all this isn’t bad. Feel kinda right, least in some ways”  
She walked back in with a brown wig that had large curls, all maintaining a neat and orderly placement. Rachel fixed it to his hair and spun him around. The southern draw came back again as she asked, “So Winifred, What do you think?”  
To spite any further internal doubts or contemplation on if this was wrong, he said, “I like it”  
He continued his thoughts, “Oh I really like it. Hello Winifred, it's nice to finally see you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahoo for self discovery with drag queens


	5. Beginnigs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winifred says their goodbye at a small open mic

September 29th, 2020

They splashed water in their face a second time. There was a subtle voice Freddy could hear on stage doing some form of slam poetry against shaving legs. They fixed their hair for the fifth time, making sure their curls had the right amount of bounce. Freddy grabbed their notebook and left the bathroom in a rush. Upon exiting they ran head first into a man who stumbled back a few steps and nearly fell on the ground.  
Freddy, whose nerves felt all consuming, apologized, “Oh I am so so sorry. Here let me help you.” They squatted down and reached for some of the papers splayed on the ground.  
The man responded, “Oh it’s fine don’t worry mate.” He gave them a half smile that mimicked the kind you gave strangers on the street when you made eye contact. He stared for a moment longer than usual and asked, “You going to do slam poetry too?”  
They motioned to the notebook in their hands. Freddy looked down at the brown book and finally processed what he asked, “Oh uh no. M’not really a big poet. I’m singing actually, in about 10-ish minutes I think now.”  
“Cool.” He straightened his papers and smiled at them more sincerely. “Well if you need anything with lighting just ask for Adam, I’ll help you out.” he said as he walked off.  
There was a weird jolt in Winifred’s chest to follow him backstage. They shoved the feeling down and went back to their table.

The mood in the building grew bitter as the slam poet left the stage, everyone in the audience looked to be debating on throwing tomatoes. The small stage was once again empty, the loss of light making it more difficult to spot the various people sitting to enjoy whatever may appear on stage next. The benefits of open mics were that nobody knew what could really happen and if you utterly bombed on staged nobody really cared.   
To the outside observer, the table in the back was one flamboyant older gay man, two far younger man (one seemed to judge you every moment whilst the other seemed to keep him from insulting anyone) and a couple who seemed more mismatched then a young childs socks. To Freddy they were their closest friends, each one encouraging them to even sing their song in the first place. They had all heard their goodbye song, there was only the debate on if they said they liked it to be nice or they actually liked it. Tonight Freddy was putting the song to the test of ‘Is it actually good to the general audience’; they hoped it would be.

The next hour was compiled into moments. Everything leading up to their time on stage was overwhelming. There were a thousand ‘What if’s’ running in their mind. When they eventually pushed themselves on to the stage the blinding lights caused them to not be able to see the audience. This might have been a good thing, but they wanted to see their friends' faces. Freddy looked to the side of the stage debating on taking their guitar and running, something stopped them however. Adam looked over at them and gave a quick thumbs up and mouthed the words, “You got this.”   
They looked back out at the audience and began, ”Hello, uh my name is Winifred Scott. Today I will be singing a song that's about 3 months in the making, it's a sort of goodbye to a dear friend. Hope you enjoy it.”  
They sang timidly at the start, paying more attention to guitar chords then words. As they got more comfortable and relaxed the words came with passion.The final note was said and the crowd cheered. Maybe it was because it was something other than a poet or a comedian, or maybe Freddy’s song was actually good. They didn't care, either way they said what they needed to.

Freddy walked back to the table prideful. Their smiles never faltered and the ‘good jobs’ and ‘atta-boys’ only added to their joy. They all talked about how it went until Daniel said, “Freddy, who’s the friend you got there?” He was referring to Adam, who was standing behind them.  
“I just wanted to say good job. You were really good Freddy.” he said. Adam seemed more worried than before, his Australian accent more pronounced.  
“Oh uh thanks Adam.” They turned to face him.  
He held out a small sheet of paper with a number written on it, “Maybe call me sometime. I would love to hear about your creative process behind your music.”  
“Yeah, I would like that.”  
“Can’t wait.” he winked as he left, his boyish charm going with.

~~~  
Their right heel hadn’t touched the floor since they walked into the restaurant. There was a warm feeling pooling in the pit of their stomach. Something new, not entirely different, but excited them nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it. Took me two weeks to make this and 5 monster energies so I hope at least 5 people like it thank you <3


End file.
